The Lovely Lovely Love List Of Loveliness

1. Cake or chocolate – discuss.

 Ummm is Chocolate Cake an option? Because if not, it really should be. Here is a picture of a chocolate cake my other half and son made me for mother day. It has very cheery blue icingagogo on it. How’s that for a lovely start.

2. Your most embarrassing memory. Of. All. Time.

 Hmmmm I hate to say it but I spend most of my time in a constant state of embarrassment. Randomly I think that the MOST embarrassing time was when I wiped my grubby hands on a towel in a public toilet only to be given a tirade of abuse from an old woman who had hired said towel in order to use the shower facilities. I really had never heard language like it or been called such names before or since (I was age 12 at the time). Neither had the other people using the facilities judging from the sniggers I could hear emanating from behind the cubical doors. This doesn't sound very embarrasing but I can clearly remember being mortified - I think 12 must have been a difficult age for me.


3. What’s your claim to fame?

 Ermmm I once took a blow to the head at a Muse concert when Matt Bellamy threw his guitar into the audience giving me slight concussion. In my panic to hold onto the guitar I managed to gouge my fingernails deep into the back of a guy who was trying to get the guitar off me, creating a wound which (in his opinion) required stitches. I was interviewed for Radio 1 but they couldn’t use it in the end in case a) I later sued Muse for having a guitar thrown at me, b) The guy sued them for me gouging a hole in him, c) I was so over excited you couldn’t make out a word I was saying anyway. I got to go back stage and meet the band though although they were somewhat wary of my blood stained fingers.


4. Would you rather lick Brad Pitts armpit or Johnny Depps foot?

 Well now this is a tricky business, because I think I’d really prefer to mix it up a bit and go for Brad Pitt’s Foot as I’m not really a fan of anyone’s pits, not even Pitts Pits.


5. What is the worst chat up line that has ever been said to you?

“I’ve lost my teddy bear – can I sleep with you tonight instead?” It did not work. I think I may actually have run away. And I never run if I can help it. This guy had also just told me he had previously shot himself in the head with a BB gun to see if it hurt – which apparently it did.


6. What is the worst chat up line you have ever used?

 I’m sad to say I have never used a specific chat up line in my life, I think I will have to rectify this immediately. Okay, having had to resort to the internet I think my favourite worst chat up line would be “I may not be Wilma Flintstone, but I know I can make your BedRock”. I will aim to use this at some point in my life (not just now though as I’m two days before my due date and the only bed rocking that is likely to take place is when I get in and it buckles under my stupendous weight).

 7. Shag, Mary, Push off a cliff: Jeremy Kyle / David Hasslehoff / Louis Walsh

 Ohh good lord what choices?!

Shag = Jeremy Kyle (though only if I were supplied with a gag – and no not for use in a kinky way – just to prevent him sharing any judgmental anecdotes at crucial moments).
Marry = The Hoffmeister – just for the soundbites I could collect
Push off a cliff = Louis Walsh, sorry Louis but someone’s gotta get it – and it turns out it’s you.

 8. If you were skipping gaily in a meadow of sweet buttercups what would you rather stop to pet – a fluffy bunnykins or a little baby mole whose little pink nose was emerging from the ground?

 Fluffy bunnykins everytime. Though we have two cats here so the chances of seeing a fluffy bunnykins are limited (they’ve dispatched more than I care to think about).

Here they are when they were little kittys...
don't be fooled by their cuddly exterior though... they can kill

9. What biscuit is the best biscuit?

Tunnochs Caramel Wafers. Grrr.


10. If you had to sniff a fart would you rather it was the fart of Brad Pitt or Lady Gaga

Good grief what a question! I’m not a fart sniffer, and if you lived with my other half you wouldn’t be either, I’ve learnt the hard way - sniffing farts can seriously damage your health – be warned.

Ahhh Lovely...