Another day, another dollar...

I’ve had a few jobs – a riding instructor, a waitress and a hydraulic modellor (I'll leave you to google that), and by far and away the toughest has been mummy (but it’s not tough in the same way). So now I have another job. I have recently become ‘Pushchairtrader Fiona’. It sounds exciting and amazing - and to me, it is. In actual fact I’m just helping out look after Pushchair Traders facebook wall – making sure that everyone plays nice and has lots of fun.  It’s not too difficult but requires a little bit of independent thought and problem solving as you never know quite what people are going to ask and I love to solve problems. Since I’ve started my new job, I’ve become aware of how tough it must be for people with children who work to achieve that elusive mythical thing – the work:life balance.

It would it be easier if I could stash my children somewhere and do some work without them around but I can’t do that. I feel guilty even looking at my laptop when the kids are around as Isaac is already feeling hard done by by the intrusion of Oscar into our lives, so surely I should spend every spare second I don’t need to spend with Oscar with Isaac? That takes up all my time then, but of course mummies don’t get their own time right? Not to do what they want with anyway. That’s what happens when we decide to become mummies; we understand that it is the end of our own time. Is a job classed as my own time – I’ve always loved work, work of any kind, it’s sad I know but I loved doing a job and doing it well, I love to go the extra mile, do the extra hours and put in the extra effort, I love to think that my boss will see me as his ‘go to’ person, so, if my job is to be a mummy AND to have a worky job how do I do them both better than best? I only have 100% of me, doing both at at least 100% would make 200%, and that sounds tiring. I am tired. So what should I do? I want to do everything, I want to have it all, how would I do that, how would I start? I have no answer for that, and I fear I may get drowned just worrying about doing it all, let alone actually doing it all so I’ve decided to set some time aside for me to recharge myself.

I recently read a blog post by Sarah Maliphant and it's made me think that I need to take a step back from all this fretting and find a way to recharge.  So, starting on Monday, this is what I’m going to do – when Isaac takes his nap and Oscar is quiet I am going to have a cup of tea. I am going to sit down by my patio window, with a hot cup of tea, poured from a pot of tea made in one of my lovely little teapots, and I’m going to drink it watching the little birds flitting up and down to the bird feeder. It's going to be a change, because usually I barely get time to wang a teabag in a dirty old mug and then leave it on the side and forget about it, let alone sit down for a few moments and do nothing much whilst sipping hot well brewed tea. But that’s how I’m going to start, everything else the whole rest of the day can be crammed and rushed and fraught as I struggle to give 100% to everything I do, but for as long as it takes me to empty that teapot, I’m going to give 100% to me and its going to be amazing, it’s going to be something I succeed at. One little thing that I CAN do, and I can do well.  I may even get some cake to go with that cup of tea.